~You DON'T Have To Eat Hamburger Helper ~

So, you're one of the hoards of us nowadays that find yourself writing your grocery list on a Post-It Note due to...um... lack of funds?? Don't desapair! And don't - whatever you do - DON'T resort to the poor-broke-me staple that we all still dread from childhood - Hamburger Helper is not your only solution.

We are a new generation of poor, folks! Chin up. There are options.

There are coupons (if you have time to spend a Sunday with scissors and a shoebox/filing system... and your "family" will let you be for the 10.5 hours it takes to cut them all out). But - they are online now! There are many great sites that you can go to and register for free to print the coupons that you actually USE - a novel idea. So, if you're sick of rifling through coupons for .02 cents off a can of condensed milk and $5 off 45 cans of stewed tomatoes, then log on for God's sake and give it a shot. A MUCH better use of your valuable time, if you ask me.

There are dollar stores... LOADS of them. But, BEWARE the $1 reference. I meandered my way into one of the imposters recently. I'm not sure if they mean that everything in there costs AT LEAST $1, or what... in that event, they could call themselves Macy's. In any case, there are gems where everything is ACTUALLY $1. This is a good deal for some things; zip lock bags, foil, garbage bags, olives, spices, garlic, and well.... Christmas themed candle thingys and random statues of horses and snowbaby lookalikes. (Not sure the latter is a great use of rare funds, but I'm not Martha Stewart, either. Who am I to judge anyone's taste in home decor?)

Then there are GENERIC brands (formerly known as the dreaded Black Label) For those of us who have been brand-name brainwashed, allow me to explain this concept. They are the same foods. The same paper goods. At a lower, lower price. With no fancy pictures and little characters on the labels. God forbid we don't get to pay for the Jolly Green Giant, I know. They are the SAME. The SAME.  Repetition is necessary, as you may want to repeat this to yourselves as you place them in your cart, to make you feel better and get you through. Now, I will fully admit, there are some generic products that may not, well, taste EXACTLY the same. As in some peanut butters may actually have a peanut - shell included- in them. These are the sacrifices we make, ladies. Pick it out. Then move on.

Overall, remember: there are staples that you can make magic out of. Chicken breast (if you have a Farmer's Market, get it there. Produce and meats and fish - ALWAYS are cheaper at Farmer's Markets). Hamburger (NOT to be used in the aforementioned Helper) For Chili and Salibury Steak, Swedish meatballs, possiblities are endless for that magic meat. Scary, but true. Vegetables and fruits are best purchased at Farmer's Markets, and if you don't have one near you, move. No, I'm kidding. (Sort of). But if you don't (check the internet to be sure!), resort to canned and frozen vegetables. Always coupons and always cheaper than fresh. And I believe there's still at least a vitamin or two left after the "canning process". Don't quote me on that, though.

Cut out things like processed and prepackaged foods. Goes without saying. They are bad for you, anyway. Eat oatmeal instead of boxed cereal. Make soups and chili's and stews in the crock pot (invest in one - cheap at WalMart - if you don't have one). You think it gets easier than throwing a meat, a vegetable and a can of whatever-you-have in a pot and turning it on and leaving it? Not so much. I'm of the belief that the second coming of our Lord was ACTUALLY the invention of the Crock Pot. Unequivocably. You'll see.

Above all, have hope. Things WILL get better. I know all the political "people", to put it politely, are telling us that "we're all in this together." I haven't seen any of them standing behind me in a 35 person, 10 sceaming children line at WalMart yet, but I'm holding out hope it will happen. Until then, cheap shopping to you, and may the Coupon God shine down upon your family. And remember, since no diet advertised ever actually REALLY worked, THIS may be just what we're all looking for! (That's my silver lining in this cloud. It helps me through.)

Good luck, and don't forget to save a $1 for a scratch off lotto ticket.

What the hell. It can't hurt.